comedycentral:

Click the gif to sink your teeth into some Ham Rove and pink slime in an exclusive video featuring some of The Colbert Report’s best moments of April 2012.

comedycentral:

Click the gif to sink your teeth into some Ham Rove and pink slime in an exclusive video featuring some of The Colbert Report’s best moments of April 2012.

225 notes

comedycentral:

Are you watching the #RoseanneRoast? Turn it on!
Don’t forget to use our live viewing companion for desktop, phone and tablet — you can share the burn as it happens online at http://roast.cc.com.

comedycentral:

Are you watching the #RoseanneRoast? Turn it on!

Don’t forget to use our live viewing companion for desktop, phone and tablet — you can share the burn as it happens online at http://roast.cc.com.

(Source: ccroasts)

148 notes

can somebody lower their standards and fall in love with me please

(Source: shire-slut)

167,508 notes

yesrissyesyes:

the bravest thing a person could do

yesrissyesyes:

the bravest thing a person could do

138,156 notes

comedycentral:

Get ready for tomorrow’s series premiere of The Burn with Jeff Ross by picking up a copy of Jeff Ross Roasts America, available tomorrow exclusively through Amazon.

comedycentral:

Get ready for tomorrow’s series premiere of The Burn with Jeff Ross by picking up a copy of Jeff Ross Roasts America, available tomorrow exclusively through Amazon.

25 notes

  • My brain: It's all your fault.
  • My heart: It's your fault I hurt.
  • My body: It's your fault I'm split everywhere.
  • My blood: It's your fault you've lost so much of me.
  • My blade: It's always your fault. Pick me up. Pick me up. Pick me up.
  • My eyes: It's your fault we're red all the time.
  • My tears: It's your fault. Come on. Cry. Let us out.
  • My friends: It's your fault we hate you.
  • My family: It's your fault we have to fight and pretend you're normal.
  • My animals: It's your fault we hear yelling everyday.
  • Me: It's my fault. Always. Always my fault.
  • The voices: Cut yourself. Kill yourself. Hurt yourself. No one cares. No one loves you. They all want you dead. Everyone wants you gone. No one likes you. They all hate you. Die. Stupid slut. Dumb hoe. Ugly bitch. Fat ass. Cunt. Die. Die. Die. Slit your wrists. Swallow those pills. Ohh, pretty building, jump off it.

11,572 notes